Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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