Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize