Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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