This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
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we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize