the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
this is an emotional support booty call
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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