new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
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Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
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I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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