Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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