I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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