wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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