Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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