How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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