she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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