We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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