I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize