I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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