so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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