He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize