awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
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we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
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The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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