As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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