I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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