My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize