And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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