so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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