I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
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It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
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Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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