It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
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OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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