I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize