What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize