I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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