My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize