By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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