Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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