Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I thought that was really considerate

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  (586): I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating' (586): I thought that was really considerate http://tfl.nu/g1h7
  Replies (3) Good night (2310) Bad night (582)
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  (415): View more from California

  I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota

  (415): View more from California

  everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy

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  (415): I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota (415): everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy http://tfl.nu/10ak
  Replies (152) Good night (676) Bad night (3319)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?

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  (702): shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant? http://tfl.nu/i5gg
  Replies (8) Good night (454) Bad night (2704) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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  (909): dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting. http://tfl.nu/kj58
  Replies (11) Good night (531) Bad night (3416)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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  (860): I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John" http://tfl.nu/1on0
  Replies (19) Good night (4477) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.

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  (617): Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar. http://tfl.nu/mo7u
  Replies (8) Good night (3561) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  god you guys know how to party

  (650): View more from California

  worst. bachelorette party. ever.

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  (650): we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed (505): god you guys know how to party (650): worst. bachelorette party. ever. http://tfl.nu/3oqx
  Replies (16) Good night (928) Bad night (6793)
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  (916): View more from California

  Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room

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  (916): Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room http://tfl.nu/yi7m
  Replies (13) Good night (1288) Bad night (3675) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  My dream of liquor pitchers came true

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  (772): My dream of liquor pitchers came true http://tfl.nu/bhu0
  Replies (14) Good night (2631) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours

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  (315): I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours http://tfl.nu/z9bp
  Replies (8) Good night (2383) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"

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  (206): it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting" http://tfl.nu/ix3k
  Replies (8) Good night (3058) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?

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  (740): Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe? http://tfl.nu/3oc2
  Replies (10) Good night (2302) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (739): View more from

  The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.

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  (739): The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/v9ao
  Replies (13) Good night (3232) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.

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  (415): It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys. http://tfl.nu/8bog
  Replies (10) Good night (400) Bad night (1323)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week

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  (716): Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week http://tfl.nu/sqfo
  Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt

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