Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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