is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize