i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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