so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
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Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
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I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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