He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize