yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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