just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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