so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
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I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
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I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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