but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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