Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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