How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
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Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
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I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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