don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
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It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
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I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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