I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
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we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
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Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize