I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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