waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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