my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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