Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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