So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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